Today I am faced with the knowledge that I am truly not in control of my life. Ever realise that? Of course, this is nothing new to me! I have been through enough interesting life experiences to know that ‘life happens’ – and quite often it doesn’t follow my expected plan… It is also perhaps time for me to get more personal in my journaling. My only expectation from writing these online journals was that my thoughts (often jumbled and nonsensical) would encourage others. However, it would appear that God has surprised me (yet again…) - I have instead been encouraged by the kind comments of those of you who have taken the time to actually read what I have written! A heart-felt thank you!
I have found myself on shaky ground lately. I mentioned in an earlier entry that my Dad passed away earlier this year. Well – the sad fact is that my Mom shot him in self-defence during a domestic violence situation. Being an intensely private and proud person, this has been mostly a private battle for me. It has understandably thrown my family in turmoil and sadly has also created a rift between family members. There are many unanswered questions. Questions that I will probably never have true answers to. At times there is much anger and frustration within my heart and of course I struggle to approach God. But He is faithful… I am also blessed to have a husband who in the true Biblical sense is like a priest to me. When my eyes and ears are closed – he speaks reason and shows me God’s love for me. A greater blessing than this a woman could not ask for…
May I be so bold as to ask for your prayers? So – a new phase on The Journal for me… I will attempt to be more transparent and open myself up more. I believe that God wants us to be able to trust one another enough to do that. It is for this reason that He constantly challenges us to step outside our comfort zones. For only in stepping off the boat (as Peter did) and following His command to step out of the ordinary, can we do the impossible and walk on water…
I have found myself on shaky ground lately. I mentioned in an earlier entry that my Dad passed away earlier this year. Well – the sad fact is that my Mom shot him in self-defence during a domestic violence situation. Being an intensely private and proud person, this has been mostly a private battle for me. It has understandably thrown my family in turmoil and sadly has also created a rift between family members. There are many unanswered questions. Questions that I will probably never have true answers to. At times there is much anger and frustration within my heart and of course I struggle to approach God. But He is faithful… I am also blessed to have a husband who in the true Biblical sense is like a priest to me. When my eyes and ears are closed – he speaks reason and shows me God’s love for me. A greater blessing than this a woman could not ask for…
May I be so bold as to ask for your prayers? So – a new phase on The Journal for me… I will attempt to be more transparent and open myself up more. I believe that God wants us to be able to trust one another enough to do that. It is for this reason that He constantly challenges us to step outside our comfort zones. For only in stepping off the boat (as Peter did) and following His command to step out of the ordinary, can we do the impossible and walk on water…
3 comments:
Dear Liesel
You are facing challenges that very very few people out there would be able to identify with, but I know and trust that our Heavenly Dad SO understands and wants you to remember that He loved you enough to allow His Son to die for you. He. Loves. You. So much more than we can ever imagine.
It's hard to "come clean" and really share your feelings, isn't it? But what happened with me is that when I did, only then did the healing begin. I'm so glad you're blogging again. Allow all of us in cyberspace to share your burden!
I've missed you and I'm so glad you're back. I will definitely be thinking of you in the next few weeks especially, what with such an enormous thing happening in your family. I wish I could tell you that I know how it feels, if only to be able to be a better comforter. But rest assures, this little believer living in Durbs will be praying for you!
Arms open wide to receive His blessing!
Liesel,
Wow. So many of us carry sorrow that is only seen when we allow it to be out. You are not alone!
I pray that your family will find comfort in this seemingly impossible situation. No struggle is too great for our God.
May He answer you in the day of your trouble. May He be near to the ones who attempt to bring justice to a situation that is upside down.
May you find peace and comfort under the shadow of God's wing. How I pray that you will find strength, and courage. I pray you will have wisdom as to where to go from here. I pray also for your sweet, husband, whom God has blessed you with.
Hang in there!
Amy
Hi Liezel...
It was good to see your post... I've been checking daily, praying for you and looking forward to hearing how things are...
You know we love you and are thinking of you daily... I'm so glad you've decided to be "transparent" - it's so much easier to bear when other's can hold you up...
God Bless...
Post a Comment