Today I am humbled.
After writing yesterday’s entry, I was overcome with an irrational fear of having ‘revealed too much’ in a far too public space. I literally had to stop myself from getting out of bed at 1h38 this morning in order to ‘edit’ (read: delete…) my post.
This morning as I downloaded e-mail I was overwhelmed by the messages of support, encouragement and hope… I simply wept, with relief, joy, amazement and a dozen other feelings I cannot put my finger on. After years of being a telephone counsellor with Telefriend (a Christian telephone counselling service), a worship leader in homecell, a nurse – all these ‘titles’ conferring some sort of ‘counselling status’ on one – I only fully understood grief when it touched me. Not just grief for the loss of my Dad’s life, but the loss of so many other things that could never be retrieved again. It was on February the 9th of this year that I finally began to understand the magnitude of God’s love for me…funny that I should come to this realisation during such a tragic time. I felt His love in kindness of new friends and complete strangers in Sweden who helped me get back to SA, Peter the Swedish priest who sat with me at the station in minus 10 degrees & snowy conditions whilst I was waiting for my train to Stockholm – who gave me a English / Swedish bible ‘to comfort me’, airport personnel at BA in Heathrow who somehow got me onto an overbooked flight and spoke to me in the kindest manner whilst I stood crying in front of approximately 500 people, friends and family who have picked me up and carried me, lecturers at my University who have encouraged me to carry on and ‘strangers’ in cyberspace who pour out hope… I have felt the love of God through all of these people!
Sometimes we cannot see the wood for the trees… I know today that a kind word or smile from me can make the difference to somebody out there today. God uses our hands, our mouths & our ears to reveal His love for others. How awesome! What a privilege – it needs no training, no fancy Christian title & no university degree – to quote the Beatles…’all you need is love’! Spread it far and wide…
After writing yesterday’s entry, I was overcome with an irrational fear of having ‘revealed too much’ in a far too public space. I literally had to stop myself from getting out of bed at 1h38 this morning in order to ‘edit’ (read: delete…) my post.
This morning as I downloaded e-mail I was overwhelmed by the messages of support, encouragement and hope… I simply wept, with relief, joy, amazement and a dozen other feelings I cannot put my finger on. After years of being a telephone counsellor with Telefriend (a Christian telephone counselling service), a worship leader in homecell, a nurse – all these ‘titles’ conferring some sort of ‘counselling status’ on one – I only fully understood grief when it touched me. Not just grief for the loss of my Dad’s life, but the loss of so many other things that could never be retrieved again. It was on February the 9th of this year that I finally began to understand the magnitude of God’s love for me…funny that I should come to this realisation during such a tragic time. I felt His love in kindness of new friends and complete strangers in Sweden who helped me get back to SA, Peter the Swedish priest who sat with me at the station in minus 10 degrees & snowy conditions whilst I was waiting for my train to Stockholm – who gave me a English / Swedish bible ‘to comfort me’, airport personnel at BA in Heathrow who somehow got me onto an overbooked flight and spoke to me in the kindest manner whilst I stood crying in front of approximately 500 people, friends and family who have picked me up and carried me, lecturers at my University who have encouraged me to carry on and ‘strangers’ in cyberspace who pour out hope… I have felt the love of God through all of these people!
Sometimes we cannot see the wood for the trees… I know today that a kind word or smile from me can make the difference to somebody out there today. God uses our hands, our mouths & our ears to reveal His love for others. How awesome! What a privilege – it needs no training, no fancy Christian title & no university degree – to quote the Beatles…’all you need is love’! Spread it far and wide…
7 comments:
Your love for God is so evident in your writing! I know that God always rewards those who are faithful. Not always in the way we expect, but it's always there. Sometimes the reward is simply remaining in His embrace. I am always tempted to turn on God when things go wrong... and it would be to my detriment to do so. So, for me, the reward is staying in an "attitude of worship" even when I don't "feel" like it. I pray you do too!
Love you loads Liezel... God Bless... and enjoy the freedom that comes from being able to share what's going on inside...
Liezel, it's me again. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you lots. I know you are going through the worst kind of hell that anyone could ever go through, and though I cannot change things for you - I want you to know that I am spending lots of time thinking of you and praying for you, and now sending you some love via cyberspace. I really hope this week sees you sitting at the feet of Jesus. Lots of love. Really. me x
Liesel, it's me again... praying especially for you today!!! I haven't forgotten. Neither has God!
You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Amy
Dear Liesel, You're going to think I'm a stalker after all my notes to you... Just thinking of you lots. I pray you're ok!
Hi Liesel... me again. I felt impressed to share this text with you today. It's from Psalms 40 v 1 to 3...
"I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
He knows. And He cares.
Post a Comment